I like to think about the "deep stuff" when I'm alone. There are only a few select people in my life who I feel comfortable talking about my innermost thoughts with. I don't know what it is; my brain just kinda goes numb when other people are around me (when I want to think about the "deep stuff," that is).
Maybe the reason for this is that all of us put up walls when we're around other people, even if those people aren't engaged in conversation with us. We've become afraid. Afraid of being seen. . .of being found. . .of being vulnerable. Maybe this is all due to society. Maybe it's because we've been too hurt in the past, and our walls simply act as our defense mechanisms. Maybe it's because we're trying to fit in. Maybe it's because her parents were too passive and didn't show their love for her. Maybe it's because that boy she dated for two and a half years left her without a backward glance. Maybe it's because his father physically and mentally abused him, and years later, he still cannot live a balanced life. Maybe it's because his mother pressures him too much in school and always wants him to strive for perfection, when she knows all too well that she's taking out her anger, frustration, and hurt from her father not loving her on her son.
Or maybe it's because society has lost what it means to belong.
To have a feeling of belonging.
To have a feeling of belonging.
In Sociology today we discussed the basic human desire to belong. It's what sociologists call the "Mechanical Solidarity Complex," which is a social order in which people are bound together, not by economic interdependence, but by common beliefs, values, and sentiments. It's an order that is very primitive, traditional; not questioned, but followed. Humans used to be this way. Humans used to feel a strong sense belonging and cohesiveness; essentially, being a "WE." Human beings were wired to feel wanted. We require social affiliation, and once we violate that feeling, problems occur.
What happened to this? What fragmented our desire to belong? Was the desire for power, wealth, and status overwhelming for the early leaders of the countries of the world? What happened to the concept of altruism, of being selfless for the benefit of others? Was it technology, making life so easy that we acquire virtually no human interaction?
Karl Marx was wrong. He established communism: Equality for all . . . but only when the owners get more than 85% of all earnings. He believed that communism was a form of equality--that when workers were left to their own devices, they would take care of one another. Marx's most fatal flaw was his misunderstanding of human nature. WE NEED TO BELONG. We need to NEED each other.
What happened to this? What fragmented our desire to belong? Was the desire for power, wealth, and status overwhelming for the early leaders of the countries of the world? What happened to the concept of altruism, of being selfless for the benefit of others? Was it technology, making life so easy that we acquire virtually no human interaction?
Karl Marx was wrong. He established communism: Equality for all . . . but only when the owners get more than 85% of all earnings. He believed that communism was a form of equality--that when workers were left to their own devices, they would take care of one another. Marx's most fatal flaw was his misunderstanding of human nature. WE NEED TO BELONG. We need to NEED each other.
If we need to need one another, then why do so many of us fear love?
Why do we run away from our feelings when they are so obviously slapping us in the face? Our pasts, yes . . . our pasts haunt us. Torture us. But we move on. We forgive and forget, not always in that order.
I don't want to fear love. I want to embrace it, whether it's the love for a friend, a family member, or a significant other. If I know I feel it, I want to embrace that, and share it with other people. After all, God is love. I don't want to haphazardly toss my words around like a frisbee, but I do want to commit. I want to commit to love. When I think I feel it, I will pray about it . . . and then I will know. Then I won't be afraid of committing, because I'll know! I've never felt like this before. So much joy pouring from me from seeing a smile, a glance, a laugh . . . the way I feel safe. I've never felt like this before.
But I cannot be afraid of it. My heart wants to be afraid. Part of my heart wants to put up that metal armor because it doesn't want to be pierced again . . . but there's a door in there that wants to crack wiiiiiiiiide open and let it all in!
I don't want to fear love. I want to embrace it, whether it's the love for a friend, a family member, or a significant other. If I know I feel it, I want to embrace that, and share it with other people. After all, God is love. I don't want to haphazardly toss my words around like a frisbee, but I do want to commit. I want to commit to love. When I think I feel it, I will pray about it . . . and then I will know. Then I won't be afraid of committing, because I'll know! I've never felt like this before. So much joy pouring from me from seeing a smile, a glance, a laugh . . . the way I feel safe. I've never felt like this before.
But I cannot be afraid of it. My heart wants to be afraid. Part of my heart wants to put up that metal armor because it doesn't want to be pierced again . . . but there's a door in there that wants to crack wiiiiiiiiide open and let it all in!
I will not fear love.
I will teach others that it's okay to belong.
I will be a source of joy.
Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
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I will teach others that it's okay to belong.
I will be a source of joy.
Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
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1 comment:
you are a source of joy,
in my life.
you've shown me what love is/means, at least in friendship.
being vunerable is hard b/c it's letting people see the parts of you that you hate, that you tried so hard to hide, and wondering if they will still like you once they see those parts.
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